Results Vary

Dry Bones Dance has a way with words:

Somehow there was some perfect marriage floating in the sky somewhere, and we were all supposed to try and fit ourselves and our roles and our marriages into it – but I don’t think marriage exists in the abstract. Everybody creates their own. Results vary.

...I can’t tell you how many people I’ve heard say that “Marriage has helped me realize just how selfish I am.” or “Marriage really shows you your faults and your sin.” Well, hot damn – sign me up! I don’t know about you, but I walk around looking for things that will help me feel worse about myself, because that is just what a girl who has spent most of her life battling self-hatred needs: further proof of my inadequacy as a human being.

...I can’t remember ever hearing someone in church say, “I discovered the power of being loved with all my imperfections. Marriage helped me realize the healing that comes from being accepted exactly as I am, not how I should be. It has been a safe space for me to take down all my walls and still keep breathing in and out.”